I wish…

I am what people say I am.
that i am braver than this.
i don’t cry so easily.
that i am as strong as people expect me to be.

but only sometimes.

… then He told me,

“My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.”

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size– abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

(2 Cor. 12:9, The Message)

photo by the Law.

Truth Thursdays, people. Time to dig deep again.

Remember, you don’t have to directly answer the question, you could just be “inspired” by it. but better if you do directly address the prompt/question. remember the mechanics:

1. Every Thursday, i will post a question or a prompt on this blog and participants will write something that answers the question or was inspired by it. (or post pictures or artworks!)
2. Participants who wrote something for that Thursday must leave a link on the comment box of that day’s prompt to let people know that they have posted.
3. TRUTH THURSDAY must be on the Title of your entry, followed by the question (so people will know).
4. This does not have to be emo– although these things tend to be a bit on the emo side, but TRUTH THURSDAYS are meant to be a fun way to bond through blog, and to get people writing and posting something meaningful and real. (disclaimer: this isn’t to say that you’re not doing so already!)
5. No pressure. Just be inspired and post something!
6. Be TRUTHFUL!

This week, it’s

SEE my God in everything. in the beautiful and tragic. in the grand and the minutiae. in the light of day and the shadows. in the love i feel everyday from my family and friends. in my friends who seek Him and for those who look the other way. even while stuck in traffic. i don’t want to miss Him.

TASTE the water from a glacial stream (it would probably be really too cold) in Greenland. i have eaten pizza in italy. now i want dolmathakia in greece. tom yum in thailand. curry in india. sushi in japan. paella in spain. you get the idea.


FEEL loved. yes. i guess that’s the theme of the week. but i do feel loved, everyday. but sometimes, yeah. i agree with the twin and my littlest sis, it’s nice to lean on a warm body, or hold his hand, and just know i am loved.

SMELL him. hahaha. just thinking about it makes me grin. when he pulls me into a hug, and i can smell the clean scent of his fresh shirt, the subtle hint of perfume that just engulfs my senses and makes me feel lightheaded, and a touch of a scent that’s just him. wow.


HEAR U2 perform live and be among the screaming multitude in the same arena with them. i just want to be there. *sigh*

Sometimes I love the quiet.
Nothing but the sound of the clicking of keys and words industriously appearing on my screen. I love the hum of the fan, the rushing wind it sends past my ears, it’s a roar that seems loud but only I can hear it.
It’s always awesome to actually hear my pulse thumping its “badumba dumba dum”.

Sometimes I like hearing my thoughts said out loud.
More often than not, I can’t get them out of my head in the right order, so it’s always a relief to hear some semblance of the original thoughts making its way across the space between me and you.
It’s always great to see you nodding and knowing that you understand what I mean.

Sometimes I enjoy the noise.
It’s a lot like being underwater, the steady chattering of friends and strangers draws me even deeper into myself, finding thoughts and words I couldn’t find in my silence.
But, oh, laughter is always welcome to interrupt and bring me back to earth again. 

Hello, Truth Thursdays again. Man, do you realize that half the year’s over?! and it’s only been a month since we started Truth Thursdays! Doesn’t it feel like we’ve been doing this forever? well, not forever, but for a while now.

Anyways, you probably know already how we do this. But we’ve been having new Truth Thursday posters every week. and for the sake of people who want to join in, it’s never too late…

Remember, you don’t have to directly answer the question, you could just be “inspired” by it. but better if you do directly address the prompt/question. remember the mechanics:

1. Every Thursday, i will post a question or a prompt on this blog and participants will write something that answers the question or was inspired by it. (or post pictures or artworks!)
2. Participants who wrote something for that Thursday must leave a link on the comment box of that day’s prompt to let people know that they have posted.
3. TRUTH THURSDAY must be on the Title of your entry, followed by the question (so people will know).
4. This does not have to be emo– although these things tend to be a bit on the emo side, but TRUTH THURSDAYS are meant to be a fun way to bond through blog, and to get people writing and posting something meaningful and real. (disclaimer: this isn’t to say that you’re not doing so already!)
5. No pressure. Just be inspired and post something!
6. Be TRUTHFUL!

Ok. so the intro was a dead giveaway for this week’s prompt already, but for the sake of uniformity, i’m still gonna say it:

so, have fun guys.

photo by Sheila Catilo *click*

Today I carry my time. and it drips through my fingers the tighter i hold on to it.
I carry yesterday.
I carry today and today and today.
I carry eternity one day at a time.

I don’t carry the hurt. not anymore.
I don’t carry promises we never intended to keep.
I don’t carry words that make me bleed.
no more of this armor that God didn’t give.
I don’t carry with me the tomorrows we could have had.
no more of the should’ves could’ve might’ve hads

Today I carry Joseph’s colorful coat.
David’s harp.
Noah’s ark.
Moses’ staff.
Jacob’s ladder.
Ruth’s gleanings.

I carry my mother’s heart. Tender, yet strong.
I carry my father’s love that goes deeper than his pockets can go, and still it gives and gives and gives some more.
I carry my brothers. my sisters.
(and my seester carries my nephew/niece.)

I carry with me Home. down roads i can travel in my sleep, alleyways and byways and highways.
I carry with me the people i meet.

I carry with me sunsets on the water,
trees and mountains, and behind the cathedral bell tower.
I carry a kite and the bright blue sky embracing it.
I carry the waves the rise and fall and  his and roar
I carry the cat, the whole armful of him and the scratches he don’t mean to give.
I carry bubbles, rainbows and other fragile things.

Today I carry my name. (and i don’t get to keep my name.)

and I carry my heart.
with
This hope.
This love and (secret) love.
This forgiveness.
I carry with me my faith.
that
you Lord, you carry me.

i carry with me dreams of flight and out-swimming the sharks and walking on water.

(stef of august 18, last year)

Wow, it’s Thursday already! And nope, I haven’t forgotten about our Thursday appointment, i just got home from watching The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (seriously, I want to watch it again) so the prompt is a little late.

Anyways, I look forward to this every week. How are you guys doing? It’s been awesome reading your stuff! Hope you can keep it going every Thursday!

So anyway, the rules, again. Just in case you are just joining us:

Remember, you don’t have to directly answer the question, you could just be “inspired” by it. but better if you do directly address the prompt/question. remember the mechanics:

1. Every Thursday, i will post a question or a prompt on this blog and participants will write something that answers the question or was inspired by it. (or post pictures or artworks!)
2. Participants who wrote something for that Thursday must leave a link on the comment box of that day’s prompt to let people know that they have posted.
3. TRUTH THURSDAY must be on the Title of your entry, followed by the question (so people will know).
4. This does not have to be emo– although these things tend to be a bit on the emo side, but TRUTH THURSDAYS are meant to be a fun way to bond through blog, and to get people writing and posting something meaningful and real. (disclaimer: this isn’t to say that you’re not doing so already!)
5. No pressure. Just be inspired and post something!
6. Be TRUTHFUL!

ok. here’s our next assignment:

…Each day has enough troubles of its own. (Matt. 6:34)

My Worries for Today aren’t here.

Funny, I used to face the new day (the one without any mistakes in it…yet) with a quiet dread that the sky is about to fall on my head. But since this year began (and wow, we’re here, coming at the 6-month mark already!), I’m being taught A Lesson– to give up all my worries to the sovereign God in whom profess to trust and entrust with everything that I have in my hands.

The decision was easy. Dude. This is the God of the universe! God of all things that I see and cannot see! The God who reigns in power and majesty! The God who was there at before the beginning and will still be there beyond the end! The God who said in His Word that He will never leave me or forsake me (Heb. 13:5). The God who keeps tabs of our comings and goings, the one who values me (Matt. 10:31). The God of infinite resources (1 Chron. 29:11-12). The God of new things (Isaiah 43:18-19). The God who is bigger than the boogeyman. My Light and Salvation. My Stronghold (Ps. 27:1). And most of all, He loves me! (Jer. 31:3, John 3:16,  1 John  4:9-11).

Awesome, right? And the Bible is filled with so many of these promises and reassurances that I have nothing to worry about, nothing to fear, as long as I stick with Him.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough troubles of its own.” (Matt. 6: 33-34)

I’m not saying that I got this all down pat. while the decision was easy to make, actually doing it (or not doing it…) is a moment by moment struggle to stick to it. Sometimes I still catch myself looking at the metaphorical giants that surround me (Tomorrow always looms over me, often with his posse leering behind him– Deadline, Five-year Plans, and “little” Pressure, who sometimes looks bigger than he really is. My old buddy P.T.R. (Previous Track Record) sometimes calls to ask if I’d like to hang out once in a while to reminisce and even relive the good old times. They always come with those annoying What Ifs that keep on buzzing at my ear and over my head. If I’m not too careful and let myself be distracted, one of these buggers would land for little sting that just itches the more I scratch it.).

But if ever I do have Worries for Today, these would the list of them:

I worry…

that if i take a short nap, i would wake up 4 hours later, missing my interview in Makati at 10:30 a.m. (which is a little more than 3 hour from now). I haven’t gotten any sleep since I woke up from my two-hour “sleepover” at Anj’s yesterday.

that my insomnia this week has shaved a couple of years off my life.

that i will procrastinate again (one more article, and I’m over my backlog) once i get some sleep at my twin’s pad later.

that i’ve missed the boat.

that i’m forgetting something.

______

ok, honestly? as soon as I had to think about stuff that i can worry about for the sake of list, my heart is already going back to its old ways of being the chronic worrier. so…

Father, I give up all these worries. Please help me to always keep my eyes on You and that I wouldn’t forget who You are and what You’ve already done even if these things do happen.

Another truth, another Thursday. And yes, some of these things I did use for the message last Station One. Didn’t I say that I’m still going through all this stuff too?

I see myself rushing around maintaining
and
preparing
for what “will happen next”
and the worries that go along with it
getting ready for life– not being in life
it seems we start so young with the
getupdresswasheatworkundressbath routine
we “grow up” too fast.
if we stop there are so many
worries of what could happen
will I lose the connection?
will i be replaced?
will i be forgotten?
it is exhausting- gripping
onto too much!
I am reminded of May Sarton’s writing
in Journal of a Solitude
“Immitate the trees”
Let go. cut off the excess… prune
wait. watch. grow deep
and high to
see the sea.

(Sabrina Ward Harrison)

Hey! It’s the third Truth Thursday already! So sorry the posting of this question is super late, i just got home an hour ago. anyways… for the sake of the people who are just getting on board with our fabulous Thursday habit:

Remember, you don’t have to directly answer the question, you could just be “inspired” by it. but better if you do directly address the prompt/question. remember the mechanics:

1. Every Thursday, i will post a question or a prompt on this blog and participants will write something that answers the question or was inspired by it. (or post pictures or artworks!)
2. Participants who wrote something for that Thursday must leave a link on the comment box of that day’s prompt to let people know that they have posted.
3. TRUTH THURSDAY must be on the Title of your entry, followed by the question (so people will know).
4. This does not have to be emo– although these things tend to be a bit on the emo side, but TRUTH THURSDAYS are meant to be a fun way to bond through blog, and to get people writing and posting something meaningful and real. (disclaimer: this isn’t to say that you’re not doing so already!)
5. No pressure. Just be inspired and post something!
6. Be TRUTHFUL!

ok. here’s the next one: