“you thrive on stress,” one of my closest friends declared several hours ago. i smiled wanly at him, swaying a bit from exhaustion. i really haven’t been sleeping well and i’ve been driving a lot and writing a lot. and also going out a lot. and the body’s cashing in checks that i can’t pay.
“it’s not like i do this on purpose,” i protested. at that point, i really couldn’t tell whether i’ve said things out loud or i just said them in my head. closing my eyes as another wave of nausea washed over me. “i will not drink four shots of espresso in one night.” i’m pretty sure i said just to myself. “no more four shots of espresso in one night.” i shuddered as a thought of
starbucks’ doubleshot iced shaken espresso’s glorious sweet-bitterness flashed through my head.
“well, whatever, it is, stef. you’re always tired,” he told me, and i lost the rest what he said because i thought it would be more important to make sure that i kept myself on my feet.
i need to sleep.
it’s 2 a.m. and i have no idea how i let it get this late again.
right now, i remember what another boy had said in history, “It’s just not healthy. I want to enjoy life with you longer. So please. Take care of yourself.” and i’m all nauseated again. because he’s no longer here, and i’m still not sleeping.
Slow down Lois Lane, you’re not wonder woman ;P