“When I consider the your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?” (Psalm 8:3-4)
One night, i was meditating on these two familiar verses and asked God for new insight. I love this passage because I love looking at the stars, and I always speak and write about them, because they point to something that’s so amazing– God’s love for insignificant man in the midst of his other and more wondrous creations. i wanted–needed– fresh insight.
and i got one when i turned beside me and found my cat all curled up on my bed, by my elbow, his tail lazily tapping my arm to make sure that i knew he was there. A few minutes before, I kissed him on top of his head– he’s still smelly from the kennels at the vet, and still looking quite scruffy. (this was the day i brought him home from his first hospitalization at Vets in Practice. he was confined for 5 days). it always comes as a shock to me how much i love this cat. i had just spent a month’s retainer fee for his hospital bills. thousands of pesos! i had never spent that much in one go for anything before, and i just plunked the money down without thinking much about it. if it had been for something else, i wouldn’t have shelled out that much cash, even for myself.
and merlin’s just a cat! the most constructive thing he’s ever done is to catch an occasional mouse. most of the time he ignores me– he even runs away when i try to hug him. he eats my mom’s plastic plants, bothers us at every meal for hand outs, and he scratches me all the time. he’s even split my lip twice already! and yet– whenever he does come to me willingly, sits at my feet or beside me whenever i’m sick or sad–or for whatever reason a cat has for giving occasional acts of affection– my heart just overfills with joy.
i love him because he is mine. and no matter what he does, i still love him– but that doesn’t mean i don’t discipline him whenever he does something bad. actually, one of the first words he learned was “no!” the other one was “down!” it’s mostly when he’s eating the plastic plants or stealing food from the table.
and right there, i think, is a stef scale model of God’s love for me. i’m not saying that what i feel for the cat is all like God’s love, but for me, that’s a tangible hint of what it is. i don’t really need a cat, but i chose to have a cat, for all his quirks and independence and even indifference. i love my cat because he’s mine–and it’s not because of the things he does or stand for. i feed him, i take care of him, i pay his hospital bills, clean up his litter box and the mess that he makes, discipline and dote on him.
“what is man that you are mindful of him?” whenever i think of how often i use His name in vain, how i lie, and sin, why doe God bother? when i see humanity–all the things that we do and say just to prove that there is no God, or that God is there but He just doesn’t care… to go through great lengths to show that we don’t need Him. i just wonder how silly and foolish we look to Him, or how we break His heart every time we push His love away. His great love caused Him to create this entire universe, to send His only Son to suffer and die to pay for our own sins, to give each of our short existence in this universe a purpose. He didn’t have to, but He still did.
God loves me because HE IS LOVE and I am His. and I think I have a little idea now of how much He loves me– i just have to raise how i feel about my cat to the zillionth power, and then some. and if i think how overwhelming, surprising, and joyful it already is to love my cat right now– man, God’s love is just ineffably awesome! and i have no credit for it–it’s all His, it’s because that’s who He is, not because of how awesome i am.
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As of writing this, Merlin is still confined at Vets in Practice. the liver blood count (or whatever it’s called) is still 181 when normally it should be 50. He’s still hooked up to the IV drip to flush out the toxins in his blood. He still won’t eat, but at least he’s more alert now. He greets me whenever i visit him, sits up whenever i brush him and purrs. it’s an improvement from last saturday, when i brought him in and he was just slumped on his bed, unable to get up.
Dr. Marga’s being very kind but honest about his condition, he’s not doing so well and there’s a chance that he might not get better. but we’ll see until tomorrow, when he’s completed his treatment.
I know he’s just a cat, but he’s MY cat. and even while i’ve already had seven years with him, i still want at least ten more. he is my first personal pet– while the whole family dotes on him, he is still my cat.
I know this could be silly for some of you, but do please pray for my cat. For complete healing, that he would eat already, for fast recovery.
thanks guys.
