the perfect time

“One day, this will all make sense and that will be a perfect moment.” - Lu Tze, The Night Watch by Terry Pratchett

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” - Ecclesiastes 3:1

so my parents finally got to see one of their children married. my mom says she’s relieved and my dad– well, everybody at the ceremony heard him say it when he gave sherie away to jorem, “i can’t wait!”

and after that, nearly all of my well-meaning, married relatives and mom’s friends turned to me with the same question, “when are you going to get married?”

since i was still happy for my sister, i just smiled and patted each one of them on the back, and said, “at the perfect time.” and of course, being married themselves and old (most of them), they just looked at me vaguely and thankfully didn’t say anything more.

i still remember my old retorts to these questions:
“it’s not a race.”
“God and I had an agreement that I wouldn’t settle for less than the best.”
“Oh, he hasn’t been born yet.”
“I like being single.”
“I have bad taste in men.”

and there were other one-liners that i come up with at the spur of the moment. especially when i get really annoyed– i was never known for my patience with these things, and the constant questioning of my singlehood is one that really got to me.

yep, got. past tense. does not get to me anymore.

but no, i haven’t given up on the whole relationship-marriage thing. i still want (and daydream about) romance, but i won’t let it consume me anymore. it’s fun to go out on dates, meet new people and talk about guys with the girls, have the occassional crush, maybe flirt back a little (very high school… yeah. haha), but i’m not gonna worry about being single anymore, i’m not going to panic even as i am getting older and more people are going to be calling me an old maid (even when i’m not old yet, but that’s Imus, Cavite for you). let other people panic for me if they want to. and i’m not going to read those singlehood essays/books anymore, especially the ones that tell me that it’s my fault that i’m not married yet. i’ve been through that way before, and they only make me feel pitiful and lonely. i’m not going that way again.

this is what’s going to happen. i will pray. i will do the task given and fulfill the vision revealed to me, be faithful with what little I have. learn and grow. to seek and delight in my God’s will and to trust in His timing– which hasn’t failed me yet. and when the time comes that i look up and finally see The Man, everything will make sense, and the that will be the perfect moment.