nothing good happens after 3 AM
October 23, 2006 by taguan
this scene is so familiar. but i don’t think it happened here before.
i was sitting beside a boy (hard to think of him as a man since i’ve known him for so long now) on the sidewalk under a tree behind our office building. i think it was around three in the morning on the third day of our monthly magazine closing. the only light on was the one in the parking lot across the street.
he handed me a bag of chips and a drink. i gave him a big smile of gratitude before concentrating on the food, even if i wasn’t that hungry. just so i wouldn’t have to look at him.
i think it’s been three years since we got together where there’s just the two of us. i think the last time was when i told him that i was not a good person to him and that he would be better off with somebody who would treat him a lot better than i ever could.
he told me he that he was cleaning his room, and he found a letter i wrote to him from high school. it was pretty harsh, he said. at first we laughed at how we couldn’t even remember why i didn’t talk to him all junior year back in high school.
i found it weird that it was so easy it was to talk to him and how it was always like this. i would rant about things and he always listened. we’ve never been really friends friends because of this thing between us since 5th grade, but he was always around. he asked about the old boyfriend. i told him about my broken heart, and how it has since been mended. i’m fine. i’m good. and the last thing i needed is a man right now.
and no. i’m not being defensive.
“you deserve more than that,” he said.
i muched on my chips and nodded. i guess i did.
“stef, you could have gotten any guy you wanted back in high school,” he said it so earnestly that i nearly choked on my food.
“well, that was then,” i replied.
“so what happened?”
i couldn’t think of a witty reply. there are so many reasons, when i think about it now. i got fat. i got too scary. i’m too weird. i never stay still long enough for any one to catch me. i got hurt.
but for that night, i just dug into my bag of chips and said, “i’m so hungry. thanks for the food.” i threw a smile at his direction.
he reached out and, with a gesture so tender and so loaded and so nice, brushed the hair off my eyes.
i flinched and scooted away from him.
no, i didn’t look at him. and i doubt that he had seen the flash of fear on my face in the half-light. this has always been my gut reaction, and now i know
this is why i am still alone.
hmm… sino kaya iyun?
if i guessed it right, maba-blind item na lang sa mga tabloid, “isang young singer/actor, nakitang kumakain ng junk food sa isang kanto sa makati kasama ang isang babae.”
ahehe. tama ba hula ko? kiddin’. ;p
anyway, kumusta ka na ba?
hahahahaha
no… not singer/actor. hahaha well, i hope not.
i’m good… just tired. but not stressed. but thanks for asking, peps.
being alone has its advantages, as you well know (-:
and who’s the singer/actor?
haha. no comment.
and besides, it’s not him.
ok (-: last question: if flinching is your gut reaction, how did an ‘ex’ ever happen? (-:
that makes the two of us
In my best Barney imitation: “There is no sign. But yes, that was the sign.”
uy how romantic, eating junk food under the stars ;P
boyblue: the ex happened because it went past the flinching stage. duh!
and do i know you?
ailene: a sign of what? hahaha
dempoy: hahahahahaha. good thing he doesn’t read the blog.
boy blue, gusto mo bang makilala ang singer/actor? ayon sa aking bubwit, isang “kapamilya” ang naturang singer/actor. sikat raw ito maging sa ibang bansa dahil sa kanyang napakalamig na boses.
so taguan, sasabihin na ba natin kung sino nag naka-blind item dito?
ahehe. ansarap mangulit.
hahahaha. intrigero ka talaga, pepot!
hehe. kinilig ako dito. hehe.
Uh, no. I was just passing through when I found what I saw here pleasing. Hope that’s fine Ü
well, boy blue, welcome to my world.
this is just the prologue, right? there’s more? ang husay, stef. ang husay.
hi ayen! hehehe. long time no comment haha
tenchu tenchu
who is it? who? clue! do i know him or have i heard about him before? who? ha? ha? who?
hey ree… no, i don’t think i’ve mentioned him to you at all. hahaha
hey fetsy! do i know who this person is?? is probably do.
dude! people from high school aren’t supposed to read this!!!! hahahaha
oops. sige i didnt read it.
can’t blame you.
and being that way doesn’t make you less human.
though I must admit, this 3am peek in your life was interesting and bittersweet.