Grand Design

I knew it all along that this day was coming
Even though I knew it doesn’t hurt any less
But somehow the suffering draws me to You
I could start running in anger
But then what’s the point of a Savior

That’s the thing about my life, when things get quiet, i brace myself for another wave of pain and testing. i rest in Him, draw strength from This everlasting source. when the storm finally hits, it still surprises me how feeble i am against such a beating, and while i know that i lean on His grace, it still doesn’t hurt any less.

i am so grateful that i may forget so many things, but i never forgot that God is in control– even during those times when it didn’t look or feel like anybody was.

I feel the pain but it still doesn’t change who You are
Nothing I feel is outside of the reach of Your arms
My whole world could crumble but all of the pieces remain
In Your hands that are waiting to put them together again

God’s hands are so big, that He can hold everything in it, even when the world seems to have exploded into pieces. He does not let any of His children fall.

Every pain has a purpose, although like Paul, i keep on asking God to take away my thorn. Of course, God’s answer isn’t any different this time– “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9). So i will give thanks for my weakness so the power of God may rest on me.

Just like I know You will in Your own time, in Your own wisdom
One day I’ll look back and see the grand design
Maybe it will make sense then, these questions I have
But with it all here front and center
Sometimes it’s hard to remember

i’m almost 26 years old. while there are so many things that i wish i have and have done by this time in my life, there is one thing that i am constantly grateful for whenever another year is added to my life– more years to look back to and see God’s faithfulness and purpose in every step and every stumble along the way.

i don’t know how people who claim they don’t believe in God look at their life. does it feel lonely for them?

everytime i don’t understand what’s happening to me, i just remind myself that it will all make sense later, nothing is wasted. and in the meantime, i’ll make the most of this moment, because the One in control knows me enough to know that i’m not the one to take things sitting down and he can work out everything i do into his grand design. He’s smart like that, my God.

I could start running in anger
But then what’s the point of a Savior

(jill phillips)